11 days in Togo, West Africa: epilogue

It's time to wrap up. It's been seven lengthy posts, and 3 months, since I went to West Africa and Mercy Ships.

When preparing for our debriefing, we were warned that we'd have much we want to say, but honestly most people won't be that interested. That makes sense. They weren't there; they didn't meet the people, smell the air, sleep in the beds. When others go on adventures, I probably react the same way. So perhaps this epilogue is just for me and my teammates. And my mom, sister, grandma and maybe a friend or three.

I was expecting to write a totally different epilogue, probably with too many words and philosophizing. But Alison recently shared her photos with us, and a couple other teammates also wrote to me. So below are some of Alison's photos. At the very end, I'll still have some philosphizing. =)

This is the Seamen's Center, where we stayed in Togo. (There wasn't room on the ship.) It's a nice place for sailors to stay. And they have a pool! I wanted to go in, but I was always too tired at the end of the day. However, Alison went in almost everyday. =)

Another view of the Seamen's Center. These are the buildings we stayed in.

A woman who sells bread, resting with her kid.

They don't have McDonald's in Togo. But an enterprising person made this restaurant. (Apparently, their food is decent, too.)

In the U.S., truckers sleep in their trucks. (I think there's a little bed in the back of the cab.) In Togo, they sleep under the truck.

Remember this photo? It was taken at the Fishing Village Church.











The Fishing Village Church. Services are held inside the building on the right. I believe children's Sunday school is in the tent on the left.




Our team leader was Bill, but we were called "Team Alison," after Alison, here. She's been on half a dozen Mercy Teams! Alison travels all over the UK to talk about Mercy Ships, on a totally volunteer basis.

I love the "Ghostbusters" look!





A rusty exercise bicycle from the ship's weight room. Cleaning this was one of Alison's main jobs.






A friend helps Alison clean the bike. I think Alison would say that having the right tools really helps!






Alison at a Mercy Ships facility called, "The Hope Center." Hope!

From Mercy Ships, from Alison

Alison and Christine, with the cleaned and repainted exercise bike!

Christine and Alison are both from England, but they didn't know each other until this trip.

Christine cleaning the Starbucks Cafe.

Louise and Christine enjoying some ice cream on the ship.

Louise is a nurse from Vancouver. She loves to travel.



Louise practicing the djembe.

When I tried to get my sister's djembe past Togo customs, an official wanted us to bribe him. I was going to duke it out with him alone (figuratively!), but Louise stuck with me and even took charge. It still wasn't going well, and I was starting to get worried, when suddenly the official said, "Are you with Mercy Ships?" We said we were, and his attitude did a complete 180. He said, "Thank you for coming! And please come back!" Fascinating. (And thank you for sticking with me, Louise!)

Louise likes Scrabble a lot. (And especially the variant, Words with Friends.) Ernest is the ship's Scrabble champion. In a close four-player game, Ernest won.

I think we all wish there had been time for a rematch!

The team at breakfast in the ship's cafeteria. Let's talk about Peter, on the far right.

Peter is Alison's husband. They have some kids and dogs. =) Peter works for another non-profit, but he was still gung-ho about Mercy Ships!

Louise, Bill, and Peter pose in one of the cargo holds. I don't know what triggered this photo, but I love Bill's pseudo-serious expression and the way Peter's looking at them.



Peter in the Starbucks cafe with Jim Twining. Jim taught Peter how to make all the drinks in the cafe. It was amazing to watch Peter go from knows-nothing to barista. Of course, some people are very particular about their coffee drinks, so I think there's always something to learn.

Here's the menu for the Starbucks cafe. It may be hard to read, but almost all drinks are $1 or less. Monday is crepe day (50 cents each), and Friday is waffle day (75 cents each).



Two of the ship's crew working in the cafe. The guy on the left is a really hard worker and very helpful, but his name's on the tip of my tongue! (I think it was Biblical?) The woman on the right is Deb. She took me under her wing and was patient with all my questions.

Doesn't this guy look like a doctor? This is Gene, the 79-year-old Texan who was the first teammate I met. Gene was in scrubs to watch the doctors perform surgery.

If you can't tell, Gene's having an *awesome* time.





Gene at the Fishing Village Church, loving the kids.











Alison taught Gene how to make "a proper cup of tea." Here, Gene checks his watch to make sure the tea bag is left in for the "proper" amount of time. =)




We had dinner at one authentic African restaurant. This one.







I got to choose precisely the fish I wanted.











Our food being grilled outside the restaurant.








One of the ladies went to the restroom at the restaurant. When she got back, someone asked, "How was it? Do they have running water?"

"… Yes. But you should really just see for yourself."






Jim and I in the cargo hold. I love this photo because it looks like both Jim and I are little kids, amazed at just the clouds in the sky. In reality, we're waiting for the others to throw potato chips down to us. And we were inside, so we couldn't see the sky.

Nevertheless, I think Jim still has a lot of childlike wonder in his heart. (And me? … =)

Oh, and the hand in the bottom-left is probably Peter's.

This is the candy supply room. All week, I wanted to try organizing this, so I was glad to get the chance.

You know what I learned recently? Not everyone *wants* to organize things. Isn't that interesting? =)






Our djembe instructor, Briggs, with Alison, me, Louise and Christine.







My mixed breakfast. I often have to tell my friends that I'm not a "foodie." But there are a couple of upsides: 1) I can honestly enjoy food that others dislike, and 2) I can enjoy food mixed in weird combinations. I believe I'm holding a bowl of scrambled eggs topped with rice krispies, oatmeal and bread, plus whatever else was there. (It's the result of putting everything I liked from the food line on top of one another.)

We went to a pizza place in Togo. Mmm!!











A child enjoying a bottle of water.




















A caregiver with a baby. Note that the baby has a cleft lip. Thankfully, that's one of several surgeries that Mercy Ships performs. (Presumably, the caregiver was helping the baby until strong enough to undergo surgery.)







In Togo, women use their head to carry loads. They can do this even while walking down the street, holding something else in one arm and doing something with the other arm.








When I see these photos, I can't help but think of the women in Africa and what their lives must be like. They are so strong and resourceful. They work so hard.








In the United States, we generally associate hard work with success. We believe the two are correlated. I think that drives a lot of people and also gives them hope.








What if that weren't true? Would you still work so hard? Would you take the same risks? What if you worked hard for many years, and then a corrupt official or a jealous relative took it all from you? Or if you never seemed to have enough for food, housing, and medicine, no matter how hard you worked?

Final question: Is closure good?

I used to say "yes," firmly. Personally, I like resolving things. Also, I've seen how a lack of finding closure, especially due to fear, has haunted others. But I think I'm starting to change my answer to, "to a point." If you think about it, closure is artificial. Rarely are doors completely closed; rarely is a process completely stopped. I may want closure so I can stop thinking about an issue, but that doesn't mean the issue is actually resolved.

When I began these posts on Mercy Ships, I was hoping to find closure. Closure on what I learned and what I would do now. But when I look at my life, and the lives of others from my trip, there's a lot still up in the air. One man buried his wife of 53 years last year; he wonders if his time has run out, or if the Lord still has years of service planned for him. A woman wonders how to transition at home, and if and when she'll return to the ship. Another person serves while also dealing with a recent divorce, finding a new job, and putting her kids through college on her own. A patient had incomplete surgery, because she had to heal for the second surgery, and the ship had to leave before then.

And me? I am still trying to find that "zone" for writing my programs, and I am still trying to know Jesus.

Serving with Mercy Ships in West Africa will continue to shape me for quite some time. And perhaps we will meet again. Or perhaps not. I'm learning to rest, perhaps even to revel, in that uncertainty. To trust the Good Shepherd, even as I get to know him.

Or perhaps to really know him, I need to trust him.

To Mercy Ships and the people of Togo: thank you. =)

11 days in Togo, West Africa: day 11

The theme for this post is: unconditional.

What does that make you think of?

Day 11 was Monday. As our flight was that evening, we were not scheduled to work that day. In fact, we could do (almost) anything we wanted!

That morning, we still woke early to make it to breakfast on the ship. Here, Bill enjoys a mango from town.

Next, I led our team's morning devotional. I'm not sure if it resonated with our team, but I tried my best!

Of course, our team still wanted to work, so we asked Jim at the ship shop. Monday is crepe day (similar to waffle day on Friday), so we helped there. I ran the register for a bit. I also weighed and packed some dry goods (sugar, flour, etc.). And I got a free crepe in the end, which was delicious!!!

Unconditional. What does that make you think of?

Unconditional surrender? What about unconditional service?

Around lunchtime, we got into our Land Rover for a trip into town. This ended up being a chance at closure from Day 2, when we first went into town.

First up was Akif. This was a burger joint that Bill pointed out earlier. Tasty food.

In the photo you can see the menu for Akif. But I really took the photo because of the ash tray. See how it says, "Diablo"? Soon, the video game "Diablo III" would be out!

I believe outside Akif was when we ran into the coconut lady again. I said this day was a chance at closure, not that I actually made closure…

Next, we returned to the artisan market. Now that I had time to think, I realized that I had some gift shopping to do. (I'm really not good at giving, or receiving/appreciating, gifts.)

This is Joyce. She and her mom run a small shop in a corner of the artisan market, in a room that she shares with two other shops. (And her shop's in the very back.) They made all the items themselves, and their prices were quite reasonable. Also, I was surprised at how pretty Joyce was. (The photo doesn't do her justice.) I kept thinking that if she was born in the U.S., she could grow up to be a beautiful model. Nevertheless, Joyce and her mom still do the best with what they have, making beautiful gifts!

Unconditional. What does that make you think of?

Unconditional love? Like the love of a parent for a child? What about the child's love for the parent?


On the way back to the ship, we stopped for ice cream at another place Bill pointed out on Day 2. It was a running joke that we had to stop for ice cream at this place before leaving, so I was glad we got to. And of course, it was awesome. (The ice-cream-ish stuff they have there, like "Fan Ice," was also pretty good, though.)

That evening, our team had our debriefing. One really great part was a song that Alison wrote just for us. I'm pretty sure the melody was from elsewhere, but the lyrics were custom-made for our team, with each person described in a verse. I sort of wish I had recorded it, but then I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it fully, and maybe now it's more special. But if you must know, I think Alison described me as good with computers, and hanging out with all the young ladies onboard…

At the end of the debriefing, we gave Bill a present: Some laminated sheets with photos we had taken during the trip. On the back, we each wrote a message to Bill. It sounds simple, but I'm really glad we did it.

Finally, it was time to leave the ship and return home. First, I got my sister's djembe out of the freezer. =) Then we all went down to the dock. Some other volunteers were also scheduled to leave that night, including some who had been on the ship for years, so there were a lot of friends and well-wishers to say goodbye. We all got into our Land Rovers, and the people staying formed a parade line to wave goodbye. It was quite a wonderful farewell…

At the airport, we still had to deal with customs and potentially corrupt officials. My sister's beautiful djembe made a prime target. But, that's for the final post. In the end, we all made it safely through, with all our stuff, and no one had to pay a bribe.

My route home would involve three planes. On the first plane, they wanted me to check in the djembe. But I hadn't packed it in anything, so I was afraid it'd be damaged. Fortunately, one of the employees said I could try to bring it onboard and fit it somewhere.

It was there that I learned that not all of a plane's luggage racks are the same size. The djembe wouldn't fit in the side racks, but I was able to fit it in the center rack! Whew!

Armed with my new knowledge, I approached the second flight with aplomb. So they let me onboard to try. Wouldn't you know it; the djembe wouldn't fit in either the center or side racks! They had to check it somewhere.

When I got off the second flight, I wasn't sure where to find the djembe. It ended up in the "oversized luggage" section, just sitting there where anyone could take it! Yikes!

For the third flight, I still convinced them to let me take the djembe onboard to try to fit it. But it didn't fit here, either! Fortunately, one of the stewardesses came by and let me store the djembe in a secret place. But since it was a secret, I really can't say anymore, except "Thank you!"

Unconditional.

I've been thinking about this word recently. When my teammates went to serve with Mercy Ships, we went unconditionally: we would do whatever they wanted us to do. But I suppose I had some hidden conditions. I didn't know what to do when they wanted us to do nothing (i.e., relax), or to just enjoy ourselves. 

When my sister asked me to get her a djembe, I hesitantly agreed. But once Jillian agreed to find one for us, I agreed to get it home, unconditionally. It hadn't occurred to me that carrying a full-size djembe on a plane would be so tough. But in the end I got it home in one piece!

From Mercy Team Alison

Djembe and other gifts from Africa, on my bed in Los Angeles. (Soooo nice to be home!)


But you know what else is unconditional? The way Mercy Ships helps people. They help anyone in need, if they can. It doesn't matter if you are penniless, old, young, female, male, religious, atheist, dumb, smart, ugly, pretty, or speak English. From a scientific or economic standpoint, I think it would be hard to justify helping some of the people that Mercy Ships helps. But they still help them. They're generous. Unconditionally.

Have you ever thought about what unconditional love must really be like? We talk about it at church. Sometimes we think of marriage. But I wonder if most people getting married really had unconditional love. Would you still love someone if you knew they would have an accident a year later and be paralyzed? Or are you just betting on the reasonable probability that that won't happen? What if they were going to cheat on you and leave you? Or hit you? What if they were going to quit their job, spend all your money, and play video games or watch sports all day? What if they were going to become addicted to alcohol, or pornography? What if they already were doing these things before marriage and just lying to you? Is one's love really unconditional? I think most of us actually have very conditional love. The least we can do is acknowledge that.

So then, should we strive for unconditional love, or simply very conditional love? Now that most of us realize how conditional our love is, there is a strong need to justify and defend it. And indeed, one could look at past marriages of very conditional love and find many that lasted until death. But is lasting until death the real criterion? A bad marriage can still last until death. Wouldn't you rather love unconditionally? Wouldn't you rather be loved unconditionally?

Jesus' love was unconditional, wasn't it? God's love was unconditional. God already planned to send Jesus to die for us, even though they both knew we would cheat on them, both before and after. No matter what we were going to do, God was going to send Jesus to die for us, and Jesus was willing to be sent.

My old pastor in Sacramento, Pastor Bill, once told me that the secret to marriage is that "each person has to put the other person first." It's unconditional. You could say, "I'll put her first if she promises to put me first," but that won't withstand the second affair. And you could say, "Well, he can completely take advantage of me," and that's true. However, I think loving unconditionally is the only way any relationship will really work. To borrow a turn of phrase from Tony Campolo: "I've tried loving unconditionally, and I've tried loving conditionally. I find unconditionally works better."

If you really want to think about unconditional love, consider this: It starts much earlier than you might think. Does it start at one's wedding? "I'll love you unconditionally … as soon as we say these vows."  What about the proposal? "I'll love you unconditionally … if you promise to be my wife." So it starts earlier. And since it shouldn't be conditional on whether you think she loves you or will marry you, it may start much earlier. But is it really unconditional for you?

"I love you unconditionally. I will put you ahead of me, even if you will leave me after we're married. Even if you will leave before we're married. Even if you already want to leave."

Jesus did that for us, didn't he? I pray that we can all find ways to love one another … unconditionally.

Next post: 11 days in Togo, West Africa: epilogue!!!