11 days in Togo, West Africa: day 11

The theme for this post is: unconditional.

What does that make you think of?

Day 11 was Monday. As our flight was that evening, we were not scheduled to work that day. In fact, we could do (almost) anything we wanted!

That morning, we still woke early to make it to breakfast on the ship. Here, Bill enjoys a mango from town.

Next, I led our team's morning devotional. I'm not sure if it resonated with our team, but I tried my best!

Of course, our team still wanted to work, so we asked Jim at the ship shop. Monday is crepe day (similar to waffle day on Friday), so we helped there. I ran the register for a bit. I also weighed and packed some dry goods (sugar, flour, etc.). And I got a free crepe in the end, which was delicious!!!

Unconditional. What does that make you think of?

Unconditional surrender? What about unconditional service?

Around lunchtime, we got into our Land Rover for a trip into town. This ended up being a chance at closure from Day 2, when we first went into town.

First up was Akif. This was a burger joint that Bill pointed out earlier. Tasty food.

In the photo you can see the menu for Akif. But I really took the photo because of the ash tray. See how it says, "Diablo"? Soon, the video game "Diablo III" would be out!

I believe outside Akif was when we ran into the coconut lady again. I said this day was a chance at closure, not that I actually made closure…

Next, we returned to the artisan market. Now that I had time to think, I realized that I had some gift shopping to do. (I'm really not good at giving, or receiving/appreciating, gifts.)

This is Joyce. She and her mom run a small shop in a corner of the artisan market, in a room that she shares with two other shops. (And her shop's in the very back.) They made all the items themselves, and their prices were quite reasonable. Also, I was surprised at how pretty Joyce was. (The photo doesn't do her justice.) I kept thinking that if she was born in the U.S., she could grow up to be a beautiful model. Nevertheless, Joyce and her mom still do the best with what they have, making beautiful gifts!

Unconditional. What does that make you think of?

Unconditional love? Like the love of a parent for a child? What about the child's love for the parent?


On the way back to the ship, we stopped for ice cream at another place Bill pointed out on Day 2. It was a running joke that we had to stop for ice cream at this place before leaving, so I was glad we got to. And of course, it was awesome. (The ice-cream-ish stuff they have there, like "Fan Ice," was also pretty good, though.)

That evening, our team had our debriefing. One really great part was a song that Alison wrote just for us. I'm pretty sure the melody was from elsewhere, but the lyrics were custom-made for our team, with each person described in a verse. I sort of wish I had recorded it, but then I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it fully, and maybe now it's more special. But if you must know, I think Alison described me as good with computers, and hanging out with all the young ladies onboard…

At the end of the debriefing, we gave Bill a present: Some laminated sheets with photos we had taken during the trip. On the back, we each wrote a message to Bill. It sounds simple, but I'm really glad we did it.

Finally, it was time to leave the ship and return home. First, I got my sister's djembe out of the freezer. =) Then we all went down to the dock. Some other volunteers were also scheduled to leave that night, including some who had been on the ship for years, so there were a lot of friends and well-wishers to say goodbye. We all got into our Land Rovers, and the people staying formed a parade line to wave goodbye. It was quite a wonderful farewell…

At the airport, we still had to deal with customs and potentially corrupt officials. My sister's beautiful djembe made a prime target. But, that's for the final post. In the end, we all made it safely through, with all our stuff, and no one had to pay a bribe.

My route home would involve three planes. On the first plane, they wanted me to check in the djembe. But I hadn't packed it in anything, so I was afraid it'd be damaged. Fortunately, one of the employees said I could try to bring it onboard and fit it somewhere.

It was there that I learned that not all of a plane's luggage racks are the same size. The djembe wouldn't fit in the side racks, but I was able to fit it in the center rack! Whew!

Armed with my new knowledge, I approached the second flight with aplomb. So they let me onboard to try. Wouldn't you know it; the djembe wouldn't fit in either the center or side racks! They had to check it somewhere.

When I got off the second flight, I wasn't sure where to find the djembe. It ended up in the "oversized luggage" section, just sitting there where anyone could take it! Yikes!

For the third flight, I still convinced them to let me take the djembe onboard to try to fit it. But it didn't fit here, either! Fortunately, one of the stewardesses came by and let me store the djembe in a secret place. But since it was a secret, I really can't say anymore, except "Thank you!"

Unconditional.

I've been thinking about this word recently. When my teammates went to serve with Mercy Ships, we went unconditionally: we would do whatever they wanted us to do. But I suppose I had some hidden conditions. I didn't know what to do when they wanted us to do nothing (i.e., relax), or to just enjoy ourselves. 

When my sister asked me to get her a djembe, I hesitantly agreed. But once Jillian agreed to find one for us, I agreed to get it home, unconditionally. It hadn't occurred to me that carrying a full-size djembe on a plane would be so tough. But in the end I got it home in one piece!

From Mercy Team Alison

Djembe and other gifts from Africa, on my bed in Los Angeles. (Soooo nice to be home!)


But you know what else is unconditional? The way Mercy Ships helps people. They help anyone in need, if they can. It doesn't matter if you are penniless, old, young, female, male, religious, atheist, dumb, smart, ugly, pretty, or speak English. From a scientific or economic standpoint, I think it would be hard to justify helping some of the people that Mercy Ships helps. But they still help them. They're generous. Unconditionally.

Have you ever thought about what unconditional love must really be like? We talk about it at church. Sometimes we think of marriage. But I wonder if most people getting married really had unconditional love. Would you still love someone if you knew they would have an accident a year later and be paralyzed? Or are you just betting on the reasonable probability that that won't happen? What if they were going to cheat on you and leave you? Or hit you? What if they were going to quit their job, spend all your money, and play video games or watch sports all day? What if they were going to become addicted to alcohol, or pornography? What if they already were doing these things before marriage and just lying to you? Is one's love really unconditional? I think most of us actually have very conditional love. The least we can do is acknowledge that.

So then, should we strive for unconditional love, or simply very conditional love? Now that most of us realize how conditional our love is, there is a strong need to justify and defend it. And indeed, one could look at past marriages of very conditional love and find many that lasted until death. But is lasting until death the real criterion? A bad marriage can still last until death. Wouldn't you rather love unconditionally? Wouldn't you rather be loved unconditionally?

Jesus' love was unconditional, wasn't it? God's love was unconditional. God already planned to send Jesus to die for us, even though they both knew we would cheat on them, both before and after. No matter what we were going to do, God was going to send Jesus to die for us, and Jesus was willing to be sent.

My old pastor in Sacramento, Pastor Bill, once told me that the secret to marriage is that "each person has to put the other person first." It's unconditional. You could say, "I'll put her first if she promises to put me first," but that won't withstand the second affair. And you could say, "Well, he can completely take advantage of me," and that's true. However, I think loving unconditionally is the only way any relationship will really work. To borrow a turn of phrase from Tony Campolo: "I've tried loving unconditionally, and I've tried loving conditionally. I find unconditionally works better."

If you really want to think about unconditional love, consider this: It starts much earlier than you might think. Does it start at one's wedding? "I'll love you unconditionally … as soon as we say these vows."  What about the proposal? "I'll love you unconditionally … if you promise to be my wife." So it starts earlier. And since it shouldn't be conditional on whether you think she loves you or will marry you, it may start much earlier. But is it really unconditional for you?

"I love you unconditionally. I will put you ahead of me, even if you will leave me after we're married. Even if you will leave before we're married. Even if you already want to leave."

Jesus did that for us, didn't he? I pray that we can all find ways to love one another … unconditionally.

Next post: 11 days in Togo, West Africa: epilogue!!!