6 Dates with SaraJean: A Love Story? (Date 5)

Ah, Date 5. Also known as, "Geoff's last chance." =) That's because I got to plan the odd dates (1, 3, 5) and SaraJean got to plan the even dates (2, 4, 6). So this was my last chance to make a good impression in the role of date planner.

Date 4 was June 16, 2002: the kite. Date 5 was July 14. What happened in the month between?

Let's start with the kite at the end of Date 4. I always thought that had been the start of SaraJean's relationship doubts, but I'm not so sure anymore. I looked at our old emails, and we seemed pretty much the same. Then, SaraJean flew home to Colorado for a weekend while I attended an anime convention. Besides family in Colorado, there was extra drama going on in SaraJean's family. Then, when SaraJean got back to LA, her ex-boyfriend–we called him Jason in the previous post–flew into town to visit her. Jason's plan was that they would go up to San Francisco somehow, because he had a friend's wedding to attend, then they would go to the wine country and ride bikes and go wine tasting with friends.

So, Jason and SaraJean hung out for a couple days in LA. Then they were going to drive up to SF with our friend Erik, but he had to cancel. So I decided to drive up with them. My main reason was that, since Jason was flying out of SF, I would get to drive back to LA with just SaraJean and myself. I thought that 6-hour drive together would be a good bonding experience.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, a few things changed:

1. I started to really, really like SaraJean.
2. SaraJean started to have serious doubts about our "compatibility."

Go figure?

I was trying to remember when my feelings for SaraJean first started to change. I think it was the kite, and just how different it was. And I definitely got jealous when Jason came back, so that probably helped my feelings along. And going to Anime Expo alone or being apart for so long probably contributed, too.

Anyway, by the time Jason's friend's wedding arrived, my heart had turned completely to SaraJean. So, while we waited for the wedding to finish, I happily drove us to Monterey Bay Aquarium. I know my heart was completely turned, because even though the aquarium was open only a couple hours more and admission was still full price ($35/ea), I *wanted* to go, and I *wanted* to pay. =)

When did things change for SaraJean? She might say the kite, but I wonder if the visit home also seeded doubt. (Her parents are divorced, plus there's been extra drama in her family.) And I can't but wonder if Jason coming back played a role.

And remember our different MBTI personality results? Having a test that tells you how different you are may not have been wise. =) (My opinion is that different personalities are good in the long run, because you'll always be stretching each other to develop. Then again, if I were dating a girl with the same personality as I, I might say the opposite. =)

At least we have similar love languages. =)

A few days or weeks after the aquarium, SaraJean and I talked about it again. She thought I didn't like her much at that time, which really surprised me. There were all these little things I did, because I liked her. However, she interpreted them oppositely. What's interesting (and sad) to me is that once one starts doing that, it's a downhill slope. It's like, "Why did he do that? Oh, again?" instead of "Oh, how sweet! Boy, he's trying." It really reminds me of the importance of attitude, as mentioned in the previous post.

At this point, I want to say that for me, attitude comes from commitment. Which is why commitment is so important to me.

Another funny thing from the aquarium: this wasn't an official date. But while going there, SaraJean said, "It sure seems like we should consider it a date." I said no, because I wanted to save Date 5 for something else (below). But inside, I also thought, "It sounds like she just wants to get the Dates over as quickly as possible, because she's lost interest in me." I guess I also needed an attitude check.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure SaraJean had a good time at the aquarium. And you can tell I was trying hard–perhaps too hard?–because there are a lot of photos. =)








After the aquarium, we picked up Jason. That Sunday, we went to Sonoma and went bike riding and wine tasting. I don't have any photos of that handy, but it was good exercise and fun. (Except for me being jealous of Jason hanging out with SaraJean. Thank goodness my friend Steph was there.)

On Monday, things got messy. Since we were near my hometown of Sacramento, I wanted SaraJean to visit my mom and meet my grandma, who's in her nineties. As you can imagine, this was really important to me. The plan was that Jason, SaraJean and Steph would hang out during the day while I went home. Then, Jason would go to SF (either via Steph or public transit), and SaraJean would visit my home for dinner. Instead, all three of them ended up going to SF for the entire day and evening, so I was feeling quite despondent.

However, it sort of worked out. SaraJean was still willing to come really late to my house and stay overnight. Steph also came. Tuesday morning, they had breakfast with my mom, grandma and sister. SaraJean and I had a long walk through the parks near my house, down to the river. And we talked.

From Monterey Bay Aquarium

A wise man once told me, "Stick to your guns." Actually, it was a friend who was hurt by a girl who had strung him along. My friend and I had recently talked, and I remember how he wished he had at least stuck to his guns. You know, say what he wanted to say, not what he thought she wanted to hear. Do what he wanted to do, not just what she wanted to do.

I felt SaraJean was hiding something, and I remembered my friend's hard-won advice. So I kept asking until she finally admitted it: she had serious doubts about us being "compatible enough" to ever make it as a couple.

From SaraJean, Mom

Strangely, I was sort of happy with this breakthrough. I was glad I was right, because it meant my intuition wasn't crazy. And I was glad that SaraJean had finally been honest with me. I think it's really hard to have a relationship when someone is hiding how they really feel. Sometime between that moment and now, SaraJean and I became really honest with each other. And so many times, that has made all the difference.

After our walk and talk, SaraJean and I had to return to LA. So here it was: the 6-hour drive together that I had been waiting for all along! Of course, SaraJean had just told me that she basically felt we should break up. But, she was stuck in the car with me until we got home, and we still had two dates to finish. =)

From Ron, Muriel, SaraJean: Hometown Buffet

On the way to LA, we stopped in Fresno to visit my Auntie Muriel and Uncle Ron. I was really looking forward to seeing them. For one thing, if SaraJean was worried about people being too different to make things work, then maybe it'd be good to see how my aunt and uncle make it work. Besides, more and more, I find that I just love my relatives. =)

After Fresno, it was late but we still had to get home. SaraJean slept in the car while I drove. But there was a lot of construction and traffic, it was hot, and I ignored my grandma's advice and didn't pack enough water. What's funny is that it was the happiest I have ever been in traffic. I was like, "More traffic? Great!" You see, SaraJean still had serious doubts about us, and I knew this might be our first and last road trip together. So, I was in no rush for the trip to end.

We got back to LA very early on Wednesday. Date 5 had to be that Saturday. Had SaraJean already given up hope? ("Geoff, stick to your guns!")

On Saturday, I picked SaraJean up around noon and gave her some sunflowers. I didn't have a plan for where to eat, so we went to Five Guys Burgers since I'd never been. It was good, but I still prefer In-N-Out.

I had learned that SaraJean likes surprises. (I like discussions. =) So, I didn't tell her where we were going. She thought we might be going all the way to San Diego for Comic Con!

But no, I had put my hope in "The Hobbit." Not a hobbit, like Frodo Baggins from "Lord of the Rings." "The Hobbit" is the book that takes place before "Lord of the Rings." But instead of reading the book, or waiting for the film which comes out this December, we went to a play!

The play was at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton. The Maverick is a small, quaint theater. I knew about it from my good friend Nick McGee. I was really looking forward to this for a few reasons:

–The play was adapted from the book by one of Nick's friends, who was the director. So this was a very local, unique opportunity.

–I saw the play two years ago, and it was great! I wanted to see what was the same and what was new.

–Nick is the hobbit!!!

SaraJean didn't know that last part, or really anything about the play. I just told her that my friend was in it.

Alas, I didn't take any photos of the actual play, and I don't think they'd do justice, anyway. But just imagine, you have to have an epic adventure with dwarves, elves, goblins, wizards, dragons, men, trolls, spiders and, yes, the hobbit. And you have to cross fields, valleys, mountains, caves, bridges, dungeons and forests. And there are battles, riddles, adventures and fellowship. All in one set, with a handful of local actors. But they did it, and it was awesome.

I'll just say, the trolls were especially amazing. Three 12-foot-tall monstrosities came out of nowhere, and they were each controlled by three puppeteers in black, so the effect was really surreal.


"This is amazing!"











Here we are in front of the set. This arch behind us did quadruple-plus duty as a hobbit hole, bridge, gate, dungeon, mountain pass, cave, and many other things.

After the play, Nick came out and I introduced SaraJean to him. I don't know if it really mattered to SaraJean which person in the play was my friend, but I felt honored to know *the* Hobbit. =)

From Date 5

Nick and I! It's too bad I didn't get any photos of people in costume. The first year, they created a giant mechanical spider that came down from the ceiling. This year, they used a girl dressed in black, on stilts. Both were really amazing.

Afterward, the three of us ate dinner at Baja Fresh. Then, SaraJean and I had a nice, long drive home. We watched some of the anime show "Maison Ikkoku." And I said some of the things that were really on my heart. ("Geoff, stick to your guns!")

So that was Date 5, my "last chance." Really, it was just watching a play that my friend was in. But for some reason, I felt really good about it. I had really wanted to share the experience with SaraJean, and it almost didn't happen. (We went on the last day.) It's a really fun, unique play, and they may never do it again. Probably more importantly, Nick is a good friend of mine, so I was glad he and SaraJean could meet.

And now, it's time for a reality check. When I started these posts about 6 Dates, I said that "maybe the not-knowing is what makes it worth writing about." And indeed, SaraJean & I still don't know the end of this story. It's reasonably conceivable that SaraJean and I could be together tomorrow, or separated next week, or married in a month. (Just kidding, Mom! That last part is because a couple friends got married at the courthouse. =) Moreover, there's a lot going on in both our lives right now. It's actually shaping into a time in which we really have to trust Jesus. I don't quite know what I'll write next time, and I think SaraJean knows even less. All I can say is that A LOT happened between Date 5 and …

… Date 6: You Think You Know Someone….