Recently, I went on several dates with a girl. I'll call her, "SaraJean." SaraJean is very important in my life, but I didn't want to blog about her, in case it didn't work out. And then I realized, well, maybe the not-knowing is what makes it worth writing about. It's what can make it truly a love story. So, I will share, anyway.
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| From Tommy's |
Here's a photo of me, Glenn and Shay from that trip.
I blogged about the trip, but I didn't mention the board game or SaraJean. Honestly, I probably didn't pay her much attention.
Fast forward to January of this year. I had moved to LA and was attending the same church as SaraJean. She was no longer dating anyone. However, I was trying casual dating, so I tried not to think about girls I already knew. (I had recently had my hopes broken that way.)
I told friends and family that I was interested in casual dating, and several of them were very supportive. I also tried speed dating. Nevertheless, every Sunday, I do something that really isn't about meeting that special someone: I have lunch with several "wiser" people from church. I am often the youngest person there, but I like them.
A couple of times, SaraJean came to lunch. After one of these times, my friend Charles said to me, "Geoff, I don't know why you keep looking for someone, when you've got such a nice girl here."
That was the turning point. I started thinking, "Hmm, maybe I really should consider SaraJean and I?" It was like the Bonnie Raitt song, "Something to Talk About." =)
I should clarify: As a single male, I had definitely thought about SaraJean before, in a what-if kind of way. But I didn't really think about her that way. Perhaps it was the way Charles said it, or the timing. Or perhaps because I respect him. Whatever the reason, I am grateful.The photo at left is Charles and his wife Joyce, skiing.
By the end of February, I decided to ask SaraJean out on a casual date. Partly, I thought she might be interested in me. However, I was wrong! SaraJean just wanted to be friends: I had misinterpreted her friendly nature as something more. (Probably the first guy to ever make that mistake with a girl. =) Anyway, I thought that was that.
In March, I prepared to go to Africa for two weeks with the charity Mercy Ships. Most importantly, my Auntie Nancy in Seattle had urged me to write a support letter and send it to friends and family, soon. I had been delaying a few weeks, but I finally wrote it and emailed it to a bunch of people, including SaraJean.
SaraJean later told me that that was a turning point for her. I guess she realized there might be more to me than she had thought. We talked a lot more after that, including about our experiences with God. (It turns out there was a lot more to her than I had thought. =)
Then, I had a very eventful Easter.
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| From Easter |
What should I do now? I was still interested in casual dating, but SaraJean didn't like the idea of dating multiple people at a time. I had already met some other nice girls. It was a lot to think about, and I was still preparing for my trip to Africa in just a couple days. To top it off, that Easter was my birthday!
What a day! At left is a care package for Africa, from some church friends.
For a few minutes, I actually tried to figure everything out, then and there. Thankfully, I realized we should pray. So, SaraJean and I prayed together in my car. Afterward, I knew the right answer: I needed more time (and sleep!) to think, and I couldn't rush such an important decision. So, I told SaraJean I would let her know when I returned from Africa.
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| From Mercy Team Alison |
I returned from Africa at the end of April. Shortly before then, I had decided that I did want to date SaraJean. But to do that properly, I would need to respect her wishes and stop seeing other girls. I wasn't quite ready for that, as another girl had lent me two books to read on my trip, and I wanted time to finish them and return them in person. Since I wasn't ready to go steady, I asked SaraJean if she wanted to go on a couple of dates first….
Honestly, I was expecting that I would finish the books in a week or two, and SaraJean and I would eat a couple dinners and watch a couple movies in that time. If there were any serious issues, I would reconsider then. Otherwise, I would return the books to the other girl, SaraJean and I would go steady, and everything would be happily ever after.
If you're laughing, you can stop now. =)
A few days later, SaraJean agreed to go on a couple dates, sort of. She said she thought a few prospective dates was a good idea. I asked how many. She said, "6." Ok….
We also agreed to alternate who was in charge of planning each date. Finally, we promised to go through with all 6 dates no matter what, and then we would talk about whether to be in a relationship.
Hmm. Was this a good idea, or a bad one? At the very least, we would have 6 dates to get to know each another. And if two people are willing to go on 6 dates with each other, that's a good sign, right?
On the other hand, I really had no idea what I was doing. I have been in only one other relationship, six years ago, and in that one I did quite badly. How much did I really know about dating? About SaraJean? About myself?
SaraJean and I had our First Date on May 12. Date 2 was on June 2. And Date 6? Well, it hasn't happened yet. It's fair to say it may never happen. It's also fair to say that my feelings for SaraJean have matured a lot since Date 1, and hers for me.Earlier, I wrote about not knowing. I think not-knowing makes life meaningful, because when the good things do happen, they're not taken for granted. Truly, I do not know how this story ends. It is an open book. However, if it is any sign, I still choose to call this a love story.
I will tell you the story of the 6 Dates, and the events between. I feel I want to, whatever happens.
Next time: Date 1, May 12, 2012. Geoff's turn.
1 comment:
despite asking us to stop laughing, I couldn't :-) looking forward to reading about the remaining dates! good luck ;-)
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