Grandma: the end

I went for a quick jog this morning. I don't mean "quick" like, "I ran only 5 miles, when I normally do 10 every morning." I can't stand false modesty. I jogged/walked around *half* the park near our house, *once*, basically like walking around the block. For me, that's good exercise, and I'm not ashamed of it. =)

Anyway, in that short walk I saw something remarkable. I was looking one way, then another, then back, and suddenly I saw an older woman in the distance, seated on a walker. She looked almost like my grandma, even the way she was seated, in the sunlight, looking out across the park. But I knew it wasn't her.

I think that's one of the toughest things. When you *know* it can't be them. It's like when I have a dream about my dad. Every year or so, I'll have a dream in which it was all a mistake; he was just trapped in some far off part of the world, and now he's back. And then I wake up, and I *know* it not only wasn't real, it will never be real. (At least in this life.)

Last year, in August, we rediscovered the Sacramento Zoo. It's always been there, but I just didn't have a reason to go. But Grandma liked it.

Here she is with her pet giraffe. There's also an elephant, which Mary brought from Africa.

Grandma got to feel what this lizard is like. (I think it was a lizard.) Grandma was always up for trying and learning new things.

I think here, Grandma's looking up some bamboo plants in the zoo. In the background is Mary.



We went to the zoo a few more times. Actually, Grandma had quite a few more adventures last year. Maybe if we ever meet in person again, you can ask me and I'll tell you about them.

Here's a picture from more of a mini-adventure. Grandma loved the sun, so we took her out to my car, opened the hatchback, and we fed her dinner while sitting on my Scion's "tailgate."

Isn't it a nice picture of her? The superficial part of me thinks, "Too bad she's not smiling." But I've come to realize that Grandma stopped smiling on the outside because her facial muscles had simply grown weak. It's like when we lose a tooth, or even if our teeth just get yellower. It's just part of getting older.

Here's another close-up of Grandma. It's from November, shortly after her birthday. There was some discussion whether Grandma was 94 or 95, as she was born in China and we never had her birth certificate. I say Grandma earned the right to be called 95. =)

Strangely, this seems to be the last photo I took of Grandma. We sent her to a nursing home for a week, to give us a break from hospice care. That was mid-November. Grandma came home later and I think we still had a couple more adventures.

It's a shame, because there was a lot about my grandma that I didn't pay attention to learning. I learned it later, and I'm glad I did. But I wish we could've talked about it a year ago. (Grandma lost the ability to talk toward the end.)

Grandma Fong passed away in 2013, on Christmas Day. She was in bed, at home, with us in the room. I had just finished putting on a sweater she had bought for me.



Actually, Grandma had a pretty good life. I know many people are afraid of dying painfully, being alone, running out of money, etc. Grandma was never rich, and I think us family members would sometimes do things for her more out of moral obligation than tender love. (I sometimes did, at least.) But I think things worked out in the end.

Grandma would want me to mention a little more. In the Bible, which is specially from God, there are promises. I don't quite understand them, but either a person dies and immediately goes to be with Jesus, or a person dies and sometime later goes to be with Jesus. Perhaps it's always immediate from their perspective. I don't know if it happens to everyone or most everyone, and I don't like how that conversation gets off track….

Nevertheless, I really do believe that, if anyone were to be with Jesus right now, it'd be my grandma. Or perhaps she's still resting, and she'll see him before she knows it.

Remember that quick jog I took this morning? When I saw the older woman sitting in the walker, I knew it wasn't Grandma. And it wasn't, as I jogged by her a moment later.

But, for a split second, I felt like Grandma really was there. She was. And she was very happy. I'll take that.

One last thing for this post: We had to go through Grandma's belongings. So, I took her wallet and took everything out. That's this photo: every single thing Grandma had in her wallet. Some will recognize the items or pictures.

And if you look, you'll see some money. I honestly forgot what I did with it, so let's pretend I took that exact amount and put it in the offering, fulfilling the prophecy.

The end